It’s been a while since I wrote a blog. I haven’t done much or gone anywhere in the last six or seven months other than our weekly visits to the hospital (sometimes 2-3 times per week) for my younger son’s cancer treatments.
I am happy to report that so far the Car T-cell treatment is going quite well. We’ve had humps and bumps along the way but we have courageously stayed on course. I’d like to think that this time we are slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Or once again getting a glimpse of that rainbow after a major storm.
Whatever it is, we are now able to radiate a little bit of positive energy. Finally….after a decade battle with (not just) cancer but also depression and anger. However, the PTSD and anxiety continue to linger. It’s not easy to totally escape from our reality.
I’m starting to get into the groove of slowly taking my life back. A little premature to say, yes…but if there’s something we have crucially learned after this third bout with cancer, that is to never waste time.
With that said, I took a trip to Los Angeles this week to visit family but mainly to recuperate from my tumultuous life and to reunite with the city I’ve always been in love with.
I spent my teenage years in LA. This city watched me grow into a woman. It has seen me fall in love hard, cried with me when I experienced heartbreaks, accompanied me through all of my life’s joys and triumphs. Perhaps one of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn’t come back after I left her.
Although in spite of her amazing qualities, I still have many doubts about us. The status of our relationship is complicated. She is a world away, still unsure of the possibility of a future together. But I realize on this trip that no other city can make my heart skip multiple beats. No other city can make me weep when I leave. She resides in my heart and soul.
Sure I have loved other cities before. New York, Paris, Tokyo…..but Los Angeles is the city I’ve been in love with since I was twenty one. It’s the city I long and crave because she knows me well and understands me deeply.
She sure knows how to take care of me and the many ways to get me excited. I get to experience her enormous gastronomic adventure. Her trendy spirit never disappoints with the extensive cool places to explore. Best of all, her gift of culture is boundless.
It breaks my heart to think that the chance of her becoming mine may never happen. It’s sad to see this city belong to others and not to me, especially when I know she and I fit perfectly together. Whatever the future holds for both of us, the City of Angels will always remain in my heart and the only one I’ll call the love of my life.