I’ll let you in a secret: I’m scared of driving in Texas….and this is why I haven’t done my prison break yet during this pandemic. I’m not sure if it’s Texas that scares me or the fact that I’m a bad driver (note: not badass but bad as in terrible 😂). I’m one of those stereotypical Asian drivers people joke about. Plus my directional dyslexia (is that even a thing, or did I just make up this term lol) does not help either. To top it all, I am scared of heights….and there are so many high overpasses in Texas. I know it’s weird to say that since I love being on a plane and I never get acrophobia when I’m on an airplane.

But dammit it’s already August and I haven’t gone or been anywhere. Sigh. This is probably the longest I’ve stayed at home. Occasionally, I talk to my suitcase and tell her to be patient. She’s been having issues with emotional baggage (pun intended). I promised her that someday we will go on a long expedition, just the two of us. Just me and her against around the world. Despite of having done everything to entertain me, I am still bored with my life. I know for sure— when I’m not going anywhere, my life ain’t complete.

I heard about this peach orchard in Terrell, Texas and it seemed like a cool place to spend an afternoon. They are not only famous for their peaches but also for their peach ice cream. Oh yum. But there’s one problem: I have to drive there.

Shit.

I asked my husband if he wants to go and he reluctantly said yes. I’d wait everyday but he kept saying maybe we’ll go tomorrow or the next day. I know he won’t and I was no longer going to wait for him. The orchard is also going to close in a few days for the rest of the year and if I wait for anyone to take me, I’ll definitely miss out.

Ugh. Now, I really have to drive myself.

I studied the route and prayed. Please God don’t let me die while driving. My friend told me that I have no issue traveling the world alone yet I am terrified to drive in Texas. I didn’t want my friend to think I’m a scaredy-cat, so I finally took the courage to go. I packed the cooler plus all the covid essentials: my mask, my wipes, my gloves, my goggles……and off I went. I turned on google maps to make sure I don’t get lost. And prayed again before I left my house. 😂

There’s an underlying reason I wanted to do this drive. Besides my fear of heights, I’m starting to believe I’m developing another phobia—agoraphobia. Thanks, Covid. I feel that I’m becoming a little psychotic. Geez, I don’t only have acrophobia but agoraphobia now? Oh hell no! I’m not going to let that happen. Life’s too short to have too many fears.

Anyway, back to my driving….

My palms were sweaty and my heart was beating fast. Damn I really hate driving in Texas. I had to go through four different highways. I prayed so hard that none of them was going to be high.

Oh shit! A couple of them were.

So while driving, I talked to myself. Boots, you can do this…just focus on the road and whatever you do, don’t look at the cars down below. I even convinced myself that I’m a really fun, strong, and adventurous person.

Oh my god that was horrible! But I made it.

US-80 was a two lane highway. And it was starting to look like Texas countryside y’all, especially when you see so many US and Texas flags everywhere! Whew! I can breathe now. No more high overpasses, thank God! I passed by a store called Boots (I think it was a liquor store) and it made me happy to see my name. Maybe a sign, like a pat in the back, saying I was a brave soul after all. LOL.

I arrived at Ham Orchard and I was so ecstatic to be there. At the market, I bought everything and anything that had peach written on it. Peach jam, peach spread, peach pie, peach salsa, peach dressing, and ohhhhh peach ice cream! Oh did I ever mention I have a serious case of FOMO? So if I see something, I become curious and want to have it (we are only talking about food ok! 😄). Since I was by myself with no one to stop me (the benefit of solo traveling), I think I bought everything that looked and sounded interesting.

I also heard that their peach pulled pork sandwich was awesome. A lady who was buying a sandwich next to me heard that I only ordered the sandwich and not the combo. She told me to get the combo because the potato salad was delicious. You’ll thank me later, she said. Because of covid, they were not allowing people to eat in the premises. So I parked my car away from the crowded parking lot, facing the rows of berry orchard and had a picnic lunch in my car.

Mmmmmm….

Every bite of that pulled pork was delicious. And yes, lady, whoever you are, thank you for recommending the potato salad.

What I had just accomplished was probably not too impressive for most people but I promise you, it was no easy feat for me. Me, driving, with all sorts of challenges, was definitely a daunting experience. I’m writing this blog to remind myself that I can overcome any fear. I don’t want to let my fears hold me back from experiencing the life that matters to me most. There’s a saying that what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

With that said, perhaps a road trip from Texas to California someday? Ah, maybe that’s too ambitious at the moment. But I can’t promise I won’t do it…..

For now, let me just conquer one fear at a time. And the rest shall set me free. 😊